(I look forward to applying these to my graduate student career.)
- How to ride on the back of a motorcycle (with luggage)
- How to haggle
- How to pee anywhere, with some grace
- When to trust strangers
- How to speak Sheep [an international language]
- How to tell the difference between sheep, who will pursue a conversation, and goats, who won't
- How to eat a mango, passionfruit, papaye, watermelon and pineapple with only a penknife
- How to ignore men (and eventually, anyone) yelling for my attention
- How to bluff
- When to bluff
- When to call someone else’s bluff
- How to bucket-bathe
- How to conceal valuables in a mailed package
- How to kill a mosquito with sniper-scary accuracy
- How to find the Southern Cross
- When to walk in front of a speeding car
- How to tell whether someone is Christian or Muslim
- How to sit still
- Why crocodiles are malevolent sons of bitches and should be avoided at all costs
- How to accept being dirty
- How to hitchhike
- How to launder money (both literally and criminally)
- How to charge a camera battery on the most rickety of outlets
- And how to close my heart to beggars
… and, unfortunately, Skills I Really Should Have Learned, Considering, But Didn’t
- how to patiently wait ten minutes for a website to load
- how to speak Arabic (other than insha’allah, which has become a frighteningly frequent part of my otherwise secular speech)
- how to gracefully wake up at 6:45 am in the absence of fire or other immediate bodily danger
- how to quickly count fat stacks of bills (well, won't need that in grad school anyway)
I wish I knew how to do all of these things!
ReplyDelete